she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
ugly people sure do ruin things
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
