they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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