There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
