So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
