No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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