Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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