There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
