Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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