Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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