I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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