marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
