Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
