First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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