Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
