Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
