Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Vodka?
Forever.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
