We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
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