You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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