Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
