Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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