i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
