I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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