Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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