at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
