the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
