I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
