it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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