He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
