the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
