i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
