I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
