Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
