Swine flu. Run for my life!
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
