I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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