just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
