i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
