well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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