their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
