Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
