Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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