I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Enjoy the penises
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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