But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
