Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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