her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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