Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
