i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Randomize
