How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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