WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
