going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
