i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
