she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
